My first time…

So not strictly my first time, but my first time having casual sex. I hit tinder, and I hit it hard. I couldn’t be bothered with exchanging too many formalities such as where I worked and what a great day I’d been having for too long, so I tried to assess the men I was matched with relatively quickly based on the very few facts I had on them (namely looks) and decide if I’d like to bang one.

I started talking with an artist. He was local, and like me didn’t want anything serious. Not knowing him meant I felt no shame in admitting what I would want him to do to me (I can’t exactly recall how we ended up sexting, but it didn’t take long). I think I spoke to him for about 4 days before going to meet him one Sunday afternoon at his house.

I was a little nervous pulling up on his driveway, despite being clad in suspenders and barely there knickers, I couldn’t quite believe I was doing this. He hadn’t done this before either, so was equally as sheepish. I decided not to beat around the metaphorical bush, and after we exchanged pleasantries kissed him. He seemed a little taken aback, but the erection pressed up against my hip was a good sign he was still up for it.

He led me upstairs and I quickly began undressing him. The initial fumbles were all a bit of a blur…. The salient points with the artist are this; he made me come (not a first) but from my G spot. I thought this an absolutely myth. We had discussed it beforehand, I’d told him it had thus far eluded me, and it spurred him on with a determination to achieve. He was also a pianist, and perhaps his dextrous fingers meant he was more capable, or just his confidence allowed him to get me there. It took some time, and he really worked on me. He was concentrating hard and paying a lot of attention, I was impressed. The orgasm was entirely different to a clitoral one, much deeper in feeling.

We had talked about tying me up prior to me going round, and we did this. Something I’d not done before. He used some camping rope to tie my hands together and made me put them above my head. I think this is then when he worked my G spot, which made it even more intense. I loved it, having part of your control taken away from you and feeling a little helpless whilst reaching heights of pleasure…. Something I want to try a lot more of.

The artist was a little too sweet for me really. He was genuinely lovely. I asked him to come in my face (I like sex to be dirty and messy), he did, but seemed to feel quite guilty about doing so afterwards. I asked him to hit me hard; he gave me a gentle spanking…. He was a lovely man, one that really there are few and far between I’m sure. He asked why I liked to be treated that way, and I said whilst I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t allow it if I wasn’t comfortable. He said “make sure you never let anyone do anything you’re not comfortable with” in a fatherly like way, which for someone just a few years older than me, and a perfect stranger was nice to see a genuine care for women.

In terms of the casual sex, it was just what I wanted; absolutely no strings. I haven’t spoken to him since, nor do I want to. If he happened to get in touch for round two, I might consider it, but I’m very conscious that I easily get attached to people if I spend a lot of time with them, and as I really don’t want a relationship at the moment, and because the sex wasn’t quite what I’m looking for, it doesn’t seem like the right thing to do to see him again. I haven’t felt used, something I wondered if I might, by simply sleeping with someone and never hearing from them again, but as all our cards were on the table, I feel quite liberated from the whole experience. I think as long as I maintain honesty with what I want, and the men I meet do the same (being entirely stereotypical I’m sure a lot of men are just happy with a shag), and ensure SAFE SEX, then at present, I’m quite happy with this….

A friend of mine sleeps with a few guys regularly. She thinks I’d be better having several “fuck buddies”, but I just fear I’d end become too attached (she lacks feelings in the normal sense). I will continue my endeavours and see what happens……

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