Friends after sex?

Have you ever met someone who you really click with? I’m talking almost instantly? I met someone with whom I did last year. It was the first person I met since my husband that I felt I could be entirely myself around. We met on Tinder (I feel like this goes without saying, I literally meet everyone on Tinder), and were almost instantaneously sending each other ridiculously hideous selfies and daft voice messages insulting each other. He made me laugh. Loads. It was like meeting your match, but also finding them incredibly fucking attractive and I was massively excited to bone him. He wasn’t my normal “type”; he dressed incredibly well, had a massive beard, and perfectly quaffed hair. Very put together and considered I thought.

He came round to mine for dinner about a week after we started speaking. I remember feeling so at ease with him. He came into my lounge and said, “Come here then” and motor boated my boobs, but not in a seedy way, just with such hilarity (I’ll point out we had been extremely rude and explicit both over text and on the phone, so he was in no means crossing any line here). Naturally I wanted to have sex immediately, but I was informed I wasn’t allowed until after dinner. Cheeky bugger He was so cute and funny it hurt.

We saw each other a few more times after that, always at mine. The sex was great. He knew I liked a bit of a beating and improvised with a wooden shot carrier board, which massively impressed me. I liked how he could really make me laugh when we hung out, but when he had sex was serious and took control. It was as if was Jekyll and Hyde, which was great, as whilst I don’t mind having a laugh in the sack, I really appreciate a good seeing to.

IMG_9637He’d stop at mine, which was really nice, as I enjoy a good spooning. I’m still not over how long it took him to blow dry and style his hair in the mornings.

You know when something feels so great that you just take it for granted, as it’s so easy, so natural and effortless? I suppose it was a bit like that. That was until it wasn’t. I don’t think he was in a great place mentally/emotionally over Christmas, having split up with a long term girlfriend earlier in the year, he maybe found being alone at home hard and struggled with it. He seemed to change a bit and acted bizarre. It didn’t help that at the same time I was starting my own decent into madness, as my depression was about to hit an all time low, so I wasn’t able to cope with his sudden erratic behaviour very well. Somewhat out of the blue one day, after I think some time of avoidance he told me he loved me. This floored me. I’m sure he didn’t, but it just added to my utter confusion of what was going on. I tried speaking to him one night when he was really drunk and he just spoke at me about what he was doing, rather than what he wanted, a topic he consistently avoided. Shortly after that he blocked my number. I didn’t hear from him for over a month. It took me weeks to get over it. I was truly gutted. Ok, so we weren’t even together, but I really felt something for him, and as a person he made me really happy when we spent time together and suddenly and inexplicably he was gone and I didn’t know why.

When he got back in touch, I was pretty cold. He apologised for his behaviour, saying he was really sorry for how he acted. He asked what I’d been up to; whether I wanted to make him jealous, or whether he asked, I can’t recall, but we ended up talking about my sex life. He was asking for specific detail, so I was blunt. He said he was horny and was at his office round the corner from me. Like an absolute idiot I let him come round after work, and within minutes he was on my sofa with hiss massive member in my mouth.

We chatted afterwards and I ended up crying. He genuinely looked sorry and said that coming round was a bad idea and clearly shouldn’t do that again. It took a few weeks of back and forth of somewhat suggestive messages from him, me rebutting and then blocking him, as I was so angry about it to finally calm down about it all. We’ve met twice since as friends (no funny business), and I can safely say I’m really happy to still have him in my life as he’s one of the nicest, funniest people I’ve ever met. I found it a little hard to hear him talk about dating to start with, I’m still a little iffy on this, as he’s not given me a reason why he ended it with me, but I just need to accept it and move on. I’d rather know him than not. He seems to genuinely care about me in some form or another, and I’m not holding onto any stupid false hope of anything happening. I’ve moved on.

He’s the first person I’ve slept with that I’m friends with post fucking with the exception of my ex husband. Though we had a 10 year long relationship and knew each other our entire adult lives. We split amicably and I can’t imagine not knowing him. This is a little different as it’s someone I knew for a matter of weeks and could easily have never spoken to again.

Have you ever slept with or dated someone and decided to be friends and actually meant it?

Leave a comment

  1. Editor
    March 30, 2016 / 8:09 pm

    brilliant share 🙂

  2. March 30, 2016 / 9:03 pm

    I’m still friends with a few guys I’ve slept with. It’s definitely tough at first, but definitely worth it for the guys I stayed friends with.

    • March 30, 2016 / 9:05 pm

      Yea, I found it really quite hard to begin with, but I’m starting to get used to the fact that we obviously weren’t meant to be, and he’s a really great guy so am glad to be friends with him.

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