Today I’ve been speaking to “Lingerie Guy”. A straight male who enjoys wearing women’s underwear.
How long have you been wearing lingerie?
I would say that I probably first wore lingerie around twelve years ago in my mid to late teens, but it’s only in the last five or six years that I have begun to build up more of a collection and wear it more regularly.
How did you get into it?
I’m not entirely sure where my initial urge to wear lingerie emerged from; I think I just fancied giving it a try. As a teenager I was always interested to see women in lingerie (as you might well expect for a teenage boy) but at some point over the years I believe my mind shifted more towards appreciating the garments themselves as well as the women who wore them.
What do you enjoy about wearing it?
I think it is primarily the aesthetic aspect which attracted me, and that’s why I ended up starting a collection. There are such a huge variety of styles too. It sounds almost cliché, but men’s underwear is incredibly dull. It feels good to wear and I think I probably enjoy the slight taboo of it.
Do you have a favourite style?
I enjoy anything with silk or satin, but lace and mesh are also on my list of favourites. I also love anything with bows. In terms of style, I tend to like the more intricate and extravagant styles. I enjoy sets that I can pair well with hosiery as stockings are a big part of my attraction to lingerie.
You have an Instagram account in which you share photos. What made you decide to share photos?
I think I really just wanted to show off my collection. I’ve never really been an exhibitionist of any kind, but a friend of mine who is a fashion designer recently agreed to make some bespoke underwear for me, and I thought it would be a huge shame if the beautiful pieces she made were kept locked away in a drawer with only me to look at them in the mirror. I’d also been following a few lingerie accounts on Instagram and I took great inspiration from other lingerie-wearing men I found there.
Other than this, you remain anonymous about wearing lingerie. Do you share this side of you with anyone?
Only one or two friends know about my passion for lingerie, whom I trust to keep it to themselves. I haven’t given the Instagram username to anyone, yet.
How do partners react when you tell them? If you don’t, what stops you?
My long-term partner knows all about my love of lingerie and she and I have sometimes swapped pieces or even bought lingerie for each other. I do occasionally dress up around her, but it isn’t a big part of our relationship to be honest, it is mostly something I do alone.
Do you worry you’d be judged if people knew?
Absolutely, Instagram has allowed me to be confident that people wouldn’t judge me (and I’ve found the lingerie community on there to be wonderful, warm and welcoming) but I feel there would be a huge stigma were I to mention it in real life to friends.
Does it link to your sexuality or sexual desires or is purely something you do to feel good?
My love for lingerie is certainly multi-faceted. There’s certainly some sexual element in there, there’s some sense of taboo or kink which I have to admit turns me on. It isn’t something which men are supposed to do. However there’s also a big element of arousal in the garments themselves, they look fabulous even laid out on the bed and I feel more confident when I’m wearing them and admiring myself.
What are your views on masculinity/femininity in general and how expectations of them apply to your life?
I’ve been studying politics and social sciences part time for the last six years and the more I read about gender and sexuality, the more I have come to see myself as on a spectrum, not just for my gender but also my sexuality. Over time I became more comfortable to describe myself as positioned somewhere on this spectrum rather than having to slot myself into boring, binary pigeon holes. At first glance I am ostensibly at the top of the privilege tree: male, white and in in an opposite sex relationship, and I have to recognise that when I talk to other people about these kinds of topics because it undoubtedly affects the way in which I see the world (and my wearing lingerie doesn’t really change that whatsoever). However on a personal level I would say that I’m certainly bi-curious and I don’t feel at all wedded to a single gender. More generally, the performance aspect of gender in society seems to me to have a damaging and sometimes destructive effect on both genders (though certainly far more to women, ranging of course from sexism to domestic violence) and I truly feel that the more able we are to express ourselves and break free of these tight binaries, the better off we will all be as a result.
I’d like to thank Lingerie Guy for talking to me so openly. Be sure to check out his Instagram account.