I started writing this in March and with it now being November, things have certainly changed from the words I typed below. I wanted to post it, as since I split with my ex, this man is someone who I had cared about the most, and to this day remains the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ve already written about him in other posts in reference to breaking my heart and whether or not I want children.
Back in March…
I’ve been “seeing” someone since the end of January now. I use that term loosely as we’re not committed to each other in any sense, but we speak regularly (we don’t see each other often as we now live fucking miles apart). He’s the antithesis of what I would expect to like in a man. He’s a squaddie. He drives a huge van and has some seriously questionable tattoos. He has the cheekiest face I’ve ever seen and can be the most outlandish person to go out with shaking his ass along the aisles of Tesco and honking the horn of his van to wave at strangers. But he’s adorable.
We initially had a date to see the new Star Wars film, despite both of us already having seen it. I had to postpone due to a work arrangement. In all honesty, I wasn’t massively disappointed to cancel. We’d had some really funny conversations, but I’m not sure I could see it leading anywhere; something about him just didn’t enthral me. Yet, as soon as I cancelled, the stakes upped and talk went from comical to sex chat. Needless to say, I managed to escape my work plans a bit earlier and he came round later that evening.
I’m very used to having casual sex now, and sex with strangers, but something about it with him was entirely different. It was incredible. He teased me with his mouth, kissing me passionately, but not allowing his tongue to penetrate my mouth, despite mine desperately searching for his. When he finally let it flow in and press against mine it felt like I was melting. I don’t recall ever having such passion with a stranger before.
He knew I was into bondage, and asked what I had. I showed him some tape I’d just bought. He stripped me naked, turned me onto my front, and hog-tied me using the tape. I’ve never allowed a stranger to do this to me before. I trusted him. I don’t know why, it just felt right. What followed is a bit of a blur, but I just recall knowing I wanted it again, and soon.
The sex has been incredible. We have a perfect sub/dom switch going on, which I’ve not had before. In fact, I’ve never dominated anyone at all prior to this. Not to this extent. Whilst he has the upper hand physically he allows me to overpower him, and do with him what I wish. I’ve done things with him I’d never thought I’d enjoy, cock sounding and pegging being the two never having previously occurred, and the power that came with them was mind blowing.
We have had times when he would be in total control and then I would “snap” and “fight” back against him. Grappling on the floor in an angry climax as we fought for power until someone submitted or just continued angrily.
As well as the toe curling orgasms, he also makes me laugh. Except for one time when I was domming him and he burst out laughing in my face, most of the time it’s because he’s just a funny person/goon.
I hadn’t finished this post; it was only ever a rough draft. I can’t find the proper words to describe some of the sex we had, maybe I’ll write about my experiences with cock sounding or pegging as separate posts, with him out of my mind. I suspect I would have gushed about how cute/caring/*insert nauseating adjective here* he was too; in that vomit inducing way people do when they really like someone, so it’s probably for the best I never ended it. Needless to say, things ended. Not so well. He didn’t want to be with me, I had a hard time accepting this. I still don’t think I have. I partly blame my mental health for this, though equally some of the things he said led me on a little, and he kept engaging in sex talk with me months after whatever “it” was ended, which was foolish really. You can’t win them all though…. Just need to find someone who can fuck like that again. It’s really gutting to have that and then have it taken away from you, knowing it’s still bloody out there, you just can’t have it.
Shuts laptop in a huff.