InstaFuck…

If you’re a woman on Instagram you’re likely to have had some messages or comments from creepy weirdoes asking to fuck/help with sex/show you their dick/send nudes. This is even more likely if like me (and many other babes) you post photos of yourself in looking fit as fuck in your underwear. So I’ve got used to message requests from people I don’t know, and ignoring them, but little over a month ago, I had one from someone I followed which was a little more detailed and not creepy.

He said hello, asked how I was, said he read my blog and generally introduced himself. So, in the “not all men are wankers” headspace, and as he’d been nice, polite and not at all creepy I replied. Conversation continued in this vain and we just chatted much like you would on Tinder I suppose, where you from/what do you do etc. Turned out he was literally from round the corner (except he’s a marine and was training in Scotland). So, one thing I’m yet to mention on my blog is that I seem to have developed a bit of a liking for men in the forces. It’s nothing to do with the uniform, I don’t know what it is other than of those that I’ve slept with, they’re just all incredibly good. I like sex fairly far from vanilla, and of all the men I’ve slept with, those in the military seem to do this the best. I suspect this is why I’d followed him on insta in the first place…. I digress.

We started following each other on Snapchat, and after talking more frequently we exchanged numbers. Things got progressively flirtier, and we arranged to meet when he was home for a few weeks.

I won’t lie, I was a little nervous to meet him as he’d sent me a few photos at my request and the guy is huge. It did not help when I was then discussing this with my cousin and she said she ended up having to have stitches after a particularly hot and heavy session with the owner of a massive schlong. He’d also expressed an interest in anal, which made my ass recoil in horror, as I wasn’t sure there was enough lube in the world for his gargantuan peen.

Rest assured, there was. The sex was awesome. I don’t know anyone who would be disappointed with a girthy dick, so the sex itself was great, but before that he was phenomenal at oral. He also expressed a desire pre meet to wanting to try fisting. I’ve done this before, which he knew so was happy to go again as it’s the one and only time I’ve ever squirted. I’m sure this isn’t on everyone’s to do list as it can sound a little terrifying, but as long as you lube up, and work up to it gentle and then don’t have someone trying to punch you in the cunt, it’s actually really great. Slow and steady is definitely preferable.

I was a little taken a back when he said he wasn’t that fussed by receiving oral. What kind of madness was this!? He said he’d never come from it and just wasn’t that bothered. I’m personally a big fan; I don’t give to receive, so I wanted to see if I could change his mind on this one. I’m not going to go into detail (though, I wrote about giving head for Scarlet Rouge here), but I he came and I think was converted.

We have plans to see each other again; he’s super sweet and a damn marine, his body is so hot (I’m not usual into that, but once in a while is a nice treat right?) He’s sent me messages saying how much he loves my body and confidence which is nice as that’s something I’ve not always had so that was nice to hear from someone who didn’t know that.

Creepiest message you’ve had on instagram? To date mine is just “can you help me with sex”? No, no I can’t, even if it is you ‘Drake’. I’m a grammar nerd for one.

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6 thoughts on “InstaFuck…

  1. It’s amazing some of the messages y’all get. I wouldn’t even think of sending a woman that stuff especially right off the bat geez. Oh and I don’t enjoy receiving all that much either. I much rather give oral. Glad it’s not just me like that haha.

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      1. Yeah I never had a good bj because the women in my life didn’t have the stamina to finish. It’s OK though I love a woman’s orgasm and much rather hear that and make them cum. I can get myself off. But yeah even when I actively looked for women I was never so tactless. Why come at people like that and expect anything good to come from it?

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      2. Yea, so maybe it’s more that you’ve not had a good one? Christ knows, maybe they think it will work? I’m not saying many women would sleep with people they meet from insta, but clearly if you approach people differently and respectful like they’re fucking humans then it might get you somewhere.

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      3. There’s probably a lot to that in not having a good one hahaha 😉 You know and not just on insta because I’m not on there but other social media forms I feel like the way these dudes approach women have made it hard for any decent, genuine guy to talk to a woman. It seems a lot more closed off than it used to. Like people get offended or angry getting a direct message probably because of the raunchy idiot guys which ruins chances for everyone else.

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