A man who is insecure over the size of his penis got in touch with me to see what my thoughts were on this subject. This got me thinking, possibly many men who are below the average penis size, (which according to the NHS is 5.16” when erect) may be insecure about this, so I asked if he would write something for my blog.
It’s mostly women who come under fire for how they look, and have social pressures to fit a certain body type. Penis size is something men may be judged for by peers or sexual partners, and it’s something that they have no control over so as with any and all body judgment is entirely wrong.
Guest post: from anonymous
Ok, so let’s get this over with, my dick is a little over 4″ when erect, just under 3″ when flaccid. It is small whichever source of ‘average size’ you consult. I imagine that very few men or women would choose a dick this size. I can’t remember exactly when I realised I had a small penis, but I eventually accepted in my late teens that it wasn’t going to grow any bigger.
So what are the practical issues?
Penetration is obviously not deep, and thrusting at any speed (yes sometimes women like this!) carries the danger of slipping out which can be painful for both parties if going fast. Doggy is good, and so is a woman putting her legs back up as close to her head as possible. But some positions are just never going to work.
Even a hand job can mean difficulties; there isn’t much scope for big movements. A blowjob and hand job combo (always looks fun in porno)… forget it!
But the biggest issue is confidence – what if she laughs? What if she isn’t satisfied? Were all her ex’s huge? What if she tells her friends?
What can be done?
Well of course you can learn to be good at things such as giving oral, which appears to be pretty much universally well received. It’s also worth keeping well trimmed to maximise every visible millimeter.
I have tried different approaches when dating someone new – not telling her that I have a small dick, and not ever discuss it even after we have had sex. The other tact I have tried is to ‘manage expectations’, perhaps looking for an opportunity to drop a hint before she sees it. Although I can’t claim to have had enough partners to make this particularly scientific, I have decided that the former is the best way for me, is to not mention it (unless she does) and just try and do the best with the tools I have!
One of my first bad experiences was with someone who had been a friend for a while, one thing lead to another and we ended up in bed together a few months after splitting up with my first long term girlfriend. She put her hand down my boxers and exclaimed, “Is that it?” It was one of those very quick and honest reactions. She immediately followed up with “sorry, I didn’t mean that”. We didn’t end up having sex, how could we after that?
I was crushed and at first hated her for that comment. But I have forgiven her, it was very honest but she meant no harm, and we’ve all probably been too honest one time or another.
Other incidents included when a long-term girlfriend who once commented jokingly “I can see your little willy!” Another ex remarked, “it wouldn’t win any awards”.
Does size matter?
I confess to have at times been slightly obsessed at knowing women’s opinion on size, and experience of, size. After all, most women will have seen many more than me. My first sexual partner (I was also hers) seemed to be satisfied and made no comment about size, but I always wondered what she thought when she went onto experiences with a larger dick – was it a revelation?
Many of course say that size doesn’t matter; I guess I have to try and believe them but few seem to have experienced one as small as mine. The ‘ideal’ seems to vary between 5 and 8″, although of course there are the exceptions.
The woman who made the “is that it comment?” used a fairly large vibrator, so I wonder if she was hoping for something to match that.
I must admit I like bigger boobs. Does that make me a hypocrite? Maybe. I certainly would never make a comment about size to a woman though and it hasn’t made a difference to who I have dated.
Is there a magic solution to having a small dick? Not really, my best advice is this – get over it, and be the best lover you can. Confidence really is sexy. Some women might not be happy with your small dick, that is their choice, move on.